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Extreme Metal Hunk Skip Week...Again...!
Yes, another skip week! It’s the end of my school year this month for me (as in no more fucking classes/assignments/exams after the 23rd) and I am currently catching up to what day it is. Honestly, I forgot that today was Tuesday. Oh and sorry for those who actually enjoy the lolCats jokes, but I already used all the easy metal-themed ones that didn’t require more than 3 minutes of work and spending anymore time on it would kind of miss the point of them.
If your thirst for hot metal-dude objectification demands satisfaction then take a look at some of the older EMH - chances are you missed at least one. Don’t take this as a sign that I’m done with this. I still have HUNDREDS! (read: like 10 or so) of hunks to write about. This will all get back to normal next Tuesday.
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(I tell this story because a few people have asked and rather than telling just a few people about it, I decided to simply write it all down for others to see it simply so I don’t have to repeat myself.)
I keep myself convinced that I will one day have a good time on mushrooms while at a metal show - it just hasn’t happened yet. I stress the yet, thinking that one good time will make up for countless (actually 4 total) times that actually weren’t that great. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am high on mushrooms, it’s just that I seem to have oh so coincidentally bad luck when I am high on mushrooms at metal shows. All events that go on are not within my power to alter until it is too late and blood will be spilled. Other than that I’m still pressuring myself to have high hopes for a good time one of these days (I’ll make it a new years resolution or something…)
So the story of this starts with me taking mushrooms before going to the Cannibal Corpse/Hatebreed show. Actually it probably starts with my agreeing to go to a Hatebreed show. I’m not by any stretch a fan of Hatebreed and their brand of one-note metalcore with a fanbase that is filled with meatheaded pseudo-jocks who’d rather fight invincible ninjas than listen to music with actual riffs, melodies, soul etc. This isn’t how I feel about “metalcore” as a whole, there is some good metalcore out there, I’m just not big on the BREAKDOWNS! I kind of hate them. Especially since everyone I hear is the same! Anyway I’m getting a bit tangential here, my point is that I am predisposed in my hatred against metalcore-meatheads.
So essentially I got in a fight.
Really, it was a scuffle that happened in between a period of 95 seconds (or less) that involved a lot of lucky hits. Being on mushrooms, my sense of time left me and around some point in the evening (I don’t know when) I saw a man of about 6’3” (or something) in a Hatebreed shirt punch out a woman that was no where near 6 feet. Like, straight up punch her. I’ve been taking mushrooms long enough to know the difference between what is real and a hallucination and this was real. This was near the mosh pit but was in no way part of any mosh pit antics. He full on punched this woman. This is what started it.
I have a problem with things such as guys hitting women - there is no blaming “rage issues” or “lost temper”, you do not strike a woman - so instead of questioning him about it I kneed him in the gut then in the rib cage. I was unaware that the guy had spike bracelets on (rather sharp ones) and somewhere in the space of 20 seconds slammed them into my head a few times and managed to snag a good cut on my forehead (which “bleeds like a stuck pig” as my Mother would so awesomely put it).
I was unaware of the blood as I thought it was just sweat in my eyes but I nonetheless landed a couple of punches to his nose and subsequently broke it. Blood rushed from his nose surprisingly quickly with a good amount getting on me. It was at this point that a few people interjected, or simply got in the way, and I decided to leave because “I had enough of this shit.” Again, this entire thing occupied less than a minute and a half of time.
I didn’t know about the blood until I got to the bus to go home. I’m surprised that no one said a thing. I did notice that I was getting a lot of strange looks but I amused a byproduct of my paranoia from the drug use. The bus driver was the only one to actually ask “Are you going to be ok?” It was then that I looked into the buses side view mirror and noticed the blood on my face.
When I got home I took a picture because I more or less couldn’t believe it and needed photo evidence to prove it. I then cleaned my face of all the dried blood and cleaned the cut. The only thing I am somewhat concerned about is the amount of the other guy’s blood that I got on myself. I got myself tested the morning after, however I am in no way worried about the outcome. The gentleman in question whose blood I got on myself did not strike me as someone who gets the chance to have copious amounts of unprotected sex.
And that is literally all there is in my fine-mush-detailed memory. I got in a fight and the damage looks a lot worse than it actually is. Despite my history of drug use I do try to eat right and manage to obtain all my required vitamins so I’ll heal up fine. I always do.
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Praise the Lord - Rotten Sound (Cycles. Spinefarm Records, 2008)
Alternate Ending for [REC]
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Phantom Limb - Pig Destroyer (Phantom Limb. Relapse Records, 2007)
ATTENTION: ALL ‘CORE BANDS!
0:44 - 1:25 That is how you do a FUCKING breakdown.
That is all.
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Disgorge, Mexico - Movie Trailer.
I am really excited for this: a film based on Fuck the Facts’ 2008 album Disgorge Mexico, which I LOVED.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Hopeless (Song 2) - Persistence of Time (Demo/Ep. Self-Released/Dillinger’s Run, 2009)
Two months ago I recorded a few songs for the East Vancouver hardcore band, Persistence of Time, and just finished mixing them about a week ago. This song here isn’t actually called Hopeless as Isaiah hasn’t given it a title yet. I found it surprisingly depressing to be constantly working on songs that were untitled so I gave them names - Hopeless being the title I gave to Song 2, my favourite track of the bunch. Check out their Myspace to listen to some of the other songs I produced for them.
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Lesson learned: Cannibal Corpse, shrooms and chivalry - though all great separate - do not mix well.
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OH MY GOD! ALAN MOORE SINGING!
Here is a video of Alan Moore singing with a band called The Retro Spankees at the launch party for his zine Dodgem Logic. This video is purely for the lulz.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Shatter Their Bones - Cannibal Corpse (Evisceration Plague. Metal Blade Records, 2009)
I am seeing these guys for the third time (within a year’s time) tonight.
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