Complaints and money orders can be sent to as.modest.as.dillinger [at] gmail.com
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Praise the Lord - Rotten Sound (Cycles. Spinefarm Records, 2008)
Alternate Ending for [REC]
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Phantom Limb - Pig Destroyer (Phantom Limb. Relapse Records, 2007)
ATTENTION: ALL ‘CORE BANDS!
0:44 - 1:25 That is how you do a FUCKING breakdown.
That is all.
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Disgorge, Mexico - Movie Trailer.
I am really excited for this: a film based on Fuck the Facts’ 2008 album Disgorge Mexico, which I LOVED.
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Extreme Metal Hunks: Travis Ryan (Cattle Decapitation, 5/5/2000, UUM, Anal Flatulence, Strangulation)
Hot Because: This here is a hunk with heart filled with gooey sympathy for the Earth. An animal lover and vegetarian, Travis - along with his main band, Cattle Decapitation - write and perform songs entailing themes about pro-animal and environmental issues…and the um *cough* total destruction of the human race. This isn’t some hippy who would get his ass handed to him by a fucking squirrel in a fight. This hunk still loves all the killing and murderous gore that comes with the genre of grindgore. But his pro-animal/gore-fetishism isn’t what makes this man a hunk, it’s his showmanship.
There are too few schools of the death/grind frontman: the basics including your guitarist/singers (e.g. Chuck Schuldiner, Muhammed Suicemz) and your stationary monolith/badass (e.g. George Corpsegrinder Fisher, Kevin Sharpe, Frank Mullen). Travis is part of a rare breed of extreme metal frontman of the fast moving wild man with the energy of crack baby with ADHD. What I’m saying is the man knows how to put on a show: he holds the audience’s attention hostage, toys with it, and leaves it battered, begging for more.
Plus he has pretty blue eyes that one can get lost in like a mighty maelstrom (and then you drown and your corpse is washed up on the shore three days later…)
Ideal Date: The two of you meet late (emphasis on the LATE) at out near the 7-11 that is conveniently close to the medical testing facility. As par your agreement, you both are wearing black along with gloves and full face masks. He hands you a crowbar and leads you towards the medical testing facility stepping lightly with the swiftness of a cheetah stalking its sluggish prey. After about four paragraphs of high stakes stealth maneuvers that rival the greatest scenes of a high budget 90’s spy film, the two of you break into the facility and enter the main testing room. The sights are unbearable: monkeys, being kept prisoner and forced into scientific experimentation are scattered around in cages. Travis stands still, his voice silent. His breath hesitant. A single tear rolls down his cheek.
“We must free them,” he says. As he makes for the nearest cage, a scientist (you assume due to the lab coat and regular lack of physical build) walks into the room holding a cup of coffee. He drops his coffee in shock and screams, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU”RE DOING?”
Both Travis and you stare with contempt at the so-called scientist, “THESE CHIMPS ARE INFECTED! IF THEY ARE RELEASED THEY WILL DESTROY ALL HUMANKIND WITHIN A MANNER OF DAYS BY SPREADING A VIRUS THAT TURNS ITS VICTIMS INTO HYPERACTIVE CANNIBAL RAPISTS!”
Travis pauses, his crowbar raised in the air about to strike the cage’s lock, “Cool.” Travis smashes each and every lock while the monkeys flood the halls of the facility, brutally killing and sodomizing the facilities faculty in a sadistic gore filled haze of ultraviolence that would make the Marquis de Sade blush.
The two of you then go for a quaint diner at a local vegan diner while the streets run red with the bodies of crazed murderous rapists.
Deal Breaker: I don’t know, this guys seems like the complete package: cute, compassionate, has a sense of humor and is part of an awesome band. However his greatest selling point could be his biggest down fall for some: the whole don’t-eat-meat deal. It’s not clear on whether or not he is a Nazi with his vegetarianism but if you’re anything like me then you’d rather die than give up on steaks and chops.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]The Ripe Beneath The Rind - Cattle Decapitation (The Harvest Floor. Metal Blade Records, 2009)
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Towering Flesh - Pig Destroyer (Terrifyer. Relapse Records, 2004)
It’s been a while since I posted a Pig Destroyer song and right now this is my most played song on iTunes. Currently, it would seem, I hold a special place in my heart for the Cryptopsian-solo by guitarist Matthew Mills who is definitely worth checking out.
Link
Best. News. Ever. (Or at least for the week) →
Human Remains/part time Discordance Axis guitarist Steve Procopio has just un-retired to play second git-fiddle to Matsubara in GridLink. The band is currently working on its second album, titled Orphan.
Amber Gray is currently sitting comfortably among my current roster of favourite albums so I expect Orphan to be better than the resurrection of the Cyborg-Zombie Jesus (with parts from Robo-Cop!)
I’m happy, I don’t have to make sense.
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![Trap Them [photo by englishwaffle]](http://18.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kstg9eNbvx1qzxclao1_500.jpg)
Trap Them [photo by englishwaffle]
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Autojector - Iron Lung (Sexless//No Sex. Prank Records, 2008)
I am hungova’r and I still need to start and finish my tech-culture column for the paper. Today belongs to Iron Lung because they gets me motivated to do things really fast and so far they seem to be the only thing I’m listening to this day (so far).
Heads Up: This week will suck. Trust me, I know these things.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Thought Crime Spree - Pig Destroyer (Phantom Limb. Relapse Records, 2007)
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